Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Welp...herpes.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Randomize
