I could have mohawked her pubes.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
