ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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