Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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