I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize