i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
So many bounce houses so little time
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
