I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Randomize
