I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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