In the future we'll all be gay
another moral hangover. fuck.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
