I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
