the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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