We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
