My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He? As in you personified your dick?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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