Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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