i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
