3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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