I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
