so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize