you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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