East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
is it fun? or sober?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
