So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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