I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
