it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Randomize
