i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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