I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
