So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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