i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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