I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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