I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
