she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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