Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
