i think my mom watched the whole time
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
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