Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I still have a little drunk in my system
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
