I'm going to jail i love you
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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