Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
