So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
vagina is talking i cant
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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