So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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