Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
