i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
