How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
too bad you live with your parents still
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
