that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Randomize