I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
