Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
