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• (905): View more from Toronto

  i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight

  (1-905): View more from Toronto

  i totally said that

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"

  (646): View more from New York

  how do you like your eggs?

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  over tits

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.

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