My sheets look like a crime scene.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
