dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
