and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
