I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Randomize
