I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
