apparently the secret to your success is patron
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize