the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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