And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
