Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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