would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
