But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
