i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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