I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
