with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
