I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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