you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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