Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
ugly people sure do ruin things
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
