I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I want to be your penis for a week.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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