OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
this hospital has no fireball
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
