Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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