Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Randomize
