A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
