Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
