One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
