some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You have to summon your inner elephant
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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