And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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