Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
